A travel guide has recently been released in Britain that warns travelers of strange laws their destination country may have.

In Hong Kong, it is legal for a wife to kill her husband’s mistress in any way she chooses, as long as she kills her husband with her bare hands. Another one, which I have to admit I am accidentally guilty of, is in Switzerland it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 p.m. My sister and I spent about two nights in Switzerland almost exactly a year ago to the day. I sure wish I would have known about this law before hand.

I did a little research and found that Canada has its own set of laws that need to be revised.

If you are arrested and released from prison, legally the police must provide you with a loaded pistol and a horse so that you can ride safely out of town. Why did I not know about this law? I would have immediately gotten into a life of crime, all for the satisfaction of being able to gallop away from the clink like the true cowgirl I am. So next time any of you find yourself in the hospitality of the police, upon your release, say, “Officer! I demand you fetch me a sturdy steed and a six shot pistol!” It’s your constitutional right.

You may not remove bandages in public. I get this one. I hate finding used bandaids floating around in public pools. Now if only we could find a police officer willing to arrest a nine year old for ripping off her My Little Pony decorated bandage, we’d have a crime free society.

In Alberta, it’s illegal to set fire to a man’s wooden leg, because no one likes it when their leg catches on fire.

In B.C., it’s illegal to kill a Sasquatch. Clearly this law is in place to maintain the ever-blossoming population of the mythical beast. As an active member of the Sasquatch Conservation Society, I commend this bit of law.

In Toronto, it is illegal to drag a dead horse down Yonge St., but only on a Sunday. On Mondays through Saturdays, feel free to drag your equine carcasses down the busiest street in Canada at your convenience.

It’s illegal to pay for a 26 cent item in all pennies. You can pay for a 25 cent item with all pennies, but anything over, no dice. If you want to use tons of nickels, you cannot pay over $4.90 in all nickels. You are also not allowed to pay for something worth $10 in all dimes. This one should be enforced more often. Have you ever been stuck behind someone at the grocery store with 50 thousand nickels? I often daydream about the SWAT team busting through the roof and windows of Save-On to arrest the nickel-wielding shopper ahead of me.

Anyone offending a public place with a bad smell is risking a jail term of two years. Of all the weird laws, this one makes the most sense. Back to the grocery store scenario, there’s nothing worse than someone paying with all nickels, than having someone else around you with an offending odor.

It sounds like Canada’s law books could use a bit of a spring cleaning.

This next one isn’t Canadian or British so there is no other excuse for its inclusion other than it’s hilarious: In Ohio, it’s illegal to get a fish drunk. Make sure upon your next trip to the state, none of your drinking buddies are aquatic creatures.

Now the last law is also not Canadian, but being part of the Monarch, it must be mentioned so that our East and West coasts can keep an eye on this one; if a dead whale washes up on shore in Britain, the head immediately becomes property of the King and the tail the Queen.